Just Wondering????

Have you ever felt like you are alone while in a room full of people? I know a question you may have heard many times before, but *shrugs* that's how I've been feeling lately.

Then other times I get to thinking about those near death experiences I have had. Why did I make it? Why did I not die then? Was I really that bad in a former life that I'm supposed to endure all this? Or is it just how my life is supposed to be?

I mean regardless the answers I can't change what is my life. However, maybe I can change the future by changing some of current traits.

That would basically mean no smoking, no drinking, no sex, cutting ties with many people, and just focusing on school. Not something most almost 21years old would consider. Then again I'm not your average 20 years old female.

So hear is to a promise I'm making to myself. *raises imaginary glass* Hope I can do this. No more stress, no more tears, no more pain, no more one-sided-love.

*smooches*
Mz. N.O.B.