My Month!?!?!?!?

Hate this month but love it at the same time. Yes my bday is this month (the 17th) which is good....I guess?

Not doing anything special so I really don't give a fuck.

But I also have a lot of relatives who are born in this month. Some of whom are now no longer with us, what sucks?????

The fact that at times I wish it was me instead of them. They had kids or parents/siblings that really needed/cared for them that got left behind. I don't.

My "family" that I would truly go to war far are not even blood related...at least not the ones who are in they 30s and a female. *smh*

You would think I'd be happily counting down the days until my 21st BDay. Instead I'm just trying to make it to another day without breaking down or clicking out.

So to all those born in this beautiful month of July. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! Hope u have a good day, week, and month :) .

*smooches*
-Mz. N.O.B.

***FLASHBACKS***

Sitting here enjoying my last day before I return to summer school. I'm reading the latest book for The Black Dagger Brotherhood series by J. R. Ward, and for some reason I can't help but have these flashbacks to me and the Bestie. It's not just one time though, but yet a combo off all the times we been together. Did I just say "but yet" oh wow I really need for my brain to get out of school mode for like 8 more hours lol.

Any-t-who reading all these sex scenes and how the characters' feelings for their other halves and add the slow jams that seem to be on repeat on the music channel. He is the only person I seem to be worried about. Which is funny to me on so many levels because he is my baby yes, but he is not my man.

The questions then comes: why do I act as if he is mines? *shrugs* Yes that is the question that I have been searching to answer for going on 3years now. The first year we hung I was in denile about my feelings so it does not count.

I guess the answer will come to me when it is meant for me to know.. When it bdoes promise ya'll will be the first to know. Ya'll know the deal though.

Until then
-Mz. N.O.B.

Need A Vaca

I'm in serious need of a vaca just a trip out this town or away from my parents both would be wonderful. Unfortunatly I got a feeling I won't be getting that or even a break. Nope just keep forcing my body to go through this bull shit and get back in shape. Hope that will get it to stop acting stupid and I won't have to go to the doctor like my girls want me to.

If it doesn't get better soon I will, but I'm tired of getting poked with fucking needles. Plus, I got to go to two specialists on the 20th anyway. *shrugs* They gonna run enough test on me then so screw it.

I'm not better by then I'll just tell them while I'm down there in Jackson. *smh* The price you pay for holding shit in.

Oh well deal with it when and if I have to. Hope I won't have too though. My brain going crazy enough on its own. That is another story though. *sighs* Until next time,

*smooches*
Mz. N.O.B.

My Birthday Wish

Cant help but wish I was home right about now. Need some food and drink only found in my great city. Add that to the idea of being fucked up with my girls, laughing at they friends, and cooling with my baby....my city keeps looking better and better for my birthday. Hopefully I will be but if not my sistes coming visit me that weekend, meaning regardless I'm going to have a good bday for a change. First time in 5 years I will actually have one to be exact.