Regret

Ever regret something so bad that you wonder what made you make that choice in the first place. Going through it now and for the life of me I can't up with a good reason. I mean seriously what did I chose. A life full of bull shit where all I get is stress about shit I did. My bad for fucking up, but damn you gonna hold that against me for life? *smh* Whatever man I don't fuck anymore, I'm done pleasing everybody else in this family. I mean all it has done is give me a fucked up mind set, and resulting in me having a miscarriage ever year of my life since I made 16. The first two I admit I did not need at the time, but the thrid time. I was 18 in college, pregnant with twins, for my Bestie, and I didn't know until after the fact. That one hurt me far beyond any other, I still find myself getting sad, even dropping a tear or two, over those two. The one this past summer hurt only because I lost her, knew it was a girl because of how she was kicking my ass, a week after my birthday. Great present right. *rolls eyes* *smh* And here we go again this year, again it's for my Bestie 3weeks in and it's already kicking my ass. At least with this one I'm not drinking or smoking, regardless of how bad I need both. I'll get at you later.
Until next time,
Mz. N.O.B.