Thursday, February 4, 2010

Random Thoughts 1

Sooooooooooooo school has started and I'm back to my old ways of not sleeping, or when I do sleep having crazy dreams. Just wonderful isn't it. *shrugs* Oh well as long as I have my books to read (yes I'm a nerd and like reading more people need to get in that habit), music and cell phone I'm fine.

I need to get back to working out soI can get under 200lbs for my 21st birthday this summer. Despite what many may think, I have the lowest self-esteem you could imangine.

Now don't get me wrong I stand up for myself for the most part, and will tell you off in a minute if you try to disrespect me. However, if you ask me to name one, yes just one, positive thing about me I couldn't tell you. I can pin point all the flaws in a anything someone positive says aout me. I guess that is what made me into such a town boy when I was younger. So as I got older it just became my comfort zone. Downside for some relationships I feel the need to stick it out even through the bullshit because I don't feel as if i deserve better.

Don't feel sorry for me though it helped me get some very intresting friends and learn how males think. Which helps me peep game for the rare times I want to be in a relationship, and as I get older I'm slowly realizing my worth. While I may not be as polished and clean cut as others I am still a diamond in my own right.

Granted a mean, sometimes cold-hearted, overly honest diamond, but a diamond non the less. So in the words of Soulja Slim "love me or love me not I'm gonna be me"

Mz. N.O.B.

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