Me Married????????????

I can not wait until I can be in my baby presence, or at least hear his voice. Damn I love this man more than anything, not gonna lie the shit scaes me. I'm afraid to love him as much as I do. I know my girls tired of me alwys talking bout hi ight about now (sorry chicas lol I LUV UUUUUUUUU).

I mean I see how things go for everyone around me when they get to the level past ours. We are not them, their pit falls we know to avoid. However, things a people cange over time. What if we change into two peple that are no longer right for each other?

I don't want to end up like my parents, married, keeping secerts, puting me (their child) in the middle of their issuses. Granted I'm grown now, I've noticed in depth the things tha ave been going on since I was small. Personally I think they are not meant to be together. Maybe itis because my egg donor (mother) had plans on becoming a nun, but some how ended up with my daddy.

Then you have two of my aunts who legally are still married, but their husbands do not stay with them. Even though they live in the same city/town with them. Can not forget there is my cousin/godfather who is in the middle of his second divorce.

I mean seriously people, and ya'll call me crazy for doing wanting the kids without the husband.

The only images I saw of  good "marriage" were fairytales. Which really just show the weddings, and not the hard process of keeping the relationship tha would lead to the "happily ever after".

I can't see myself with anyone else though, so when the time comes I want the wedding, duh, but in our vows their need to be a part where we promise to steadily do the small things we do now; to grow but still remain true to ourselves an each other; and to aways speak the truth regardless of how hard it may be. I kow true marriages exist in real life, and I plan to be an example to the next generations coming up in this world.

Holla,
Mz. P