Letter To My Babies

Mourning the lost of mines

But behind closed doors

Nobody can see my tears

For if the start flowing don’t know if they will end

My fault I lost them all

Be it intentional or not

3girls 2boys

All in heaven as angels playing with their toys

And watching over mama waiting for their chance to return

But the pain is so deep and I just can’t let it burn

Cause I would feel as if I’m forgetting them

Making it seem as if it don’t matter

They were part of me

Regardless of the issues that would came up

To hold you in my arms

And rock you too sleep

But the one good thing

You don’t experience the pain

That comes with this world

So I’ll deal with the heart ache

Because you living with joy

In the Lord’s house and all ya’ll together

So lil mama who the oldest

Watch the other four

The twin boys my be 3^rd and 4^th

But protect your sisters from any force

And babygirl I may not have wanted to deal with your daddy

I still loved you and will always regret my bad habit

Trying to stress less

Stop smoking and only drink on occasion

Don’t try to be superwoman

Take my medicine like I should

Keeping my head in the books to move us out

In a good place not just the hood

20years old, almost 21

This just another layer of my cake

*sighs* Sadly the story has just begun

Randomly Me

Now before you read this now it's kinda blunt and I not all things stated are true......if u know me u know which parts are not relvent. but hope you enjoy if not *shrugs* screw u lol.............I'm serious though


I may fuck like a slut, and dress like a hoe
But I’m one of the realest bitches, that you’ll ever know
Honest to a fault, make it a requirement
Niggas think I’m slow, but I see you chasing behind the chick
To these basic bitches, I don’t want ya man
But I’ll borrow him, and send him back when I feel I can
If he don’t wanta leave, please don’t hurt him
He just know I’ll put in work, even when I’m hurting

If you not a baller, then why waste my time
Cause you better have money, be damn if I blow mine
My whole click fine, on top of that we way past pretty
Click of hood bitches, but we steadily called ‘ditty
Got expensive taste, but we not flashy with it

Off the charts ratings, it’s nothing for me to get it
Freaky lil thing, this Cancer is something serious
While green is my color, I’m never the one to envy
Only fucking with Ben, because he can get me my Tiffy
She my best friend, I’m not on the diking tip
I’m the type of chick, that love something long and thick

Not dissing others, just giving my opinion
Ain’t gonna lie, freaky side of me been saying some females could actually get it
This is randomly me, don’t feel bad if you don’t understand
Cause I don’t even get me

Don't Know How

So me and my baby were having a convo last night and some kind of way we got on the subject of disrespecting females. Something he doesn't do, at least not with me. His opinion of me is that I'm not what I believe myself to be and that is a hoe. Now I'm not out here walking the stroll or no shit, but I have had my share of men. The way he broke it down really had me wondering. If he knew that, would he still want to be with me???

I can't honestly say that I would blame him if he didn't, but that shit would hurt to no end. Don't know why I did half the shit I did then. Guess it was a way to deal with shit from my past. Thought it would help me deal, but all it did was make matters worse. It brought up old memories that I tried so hard to keep buried. Just now starting to deal with them, and the side effects from the other habits I picked up once my writing started getting of a stress causer than stress reliever. *smh*

On another note we also discussed our wedding, *lol* crazy right. *smh* Lets just say if things work out we will NOT be getting married in a church. Shit we may just hit up city hall cause he ain't gonna act right. That's only if he can deal with that though, *smh* anyway.

Until next time,
- Mz. N.O.B.

Happy B-Day Lil' Sis

So yesterday was my lil sister bday she made 18, smh the world not ready. We had a some what good time, had I known we coulda stayed out longer we would've though. Today is her prom so you know that means she about to have some fun.

*fake tears* My baby growing up...she bout to graduate this year and shit. *sighs* Damn I'm getting old lol.

Bout Time

Sooooo I have been having a Vivan Green type episode these past few weeks. When I say emotional roller coaster, smh it's been crazy.

The first weekend in March I went home as I told you earlier, and I got to see my sisters and my Bestie. *sighs* Why did I go see him? *smh* Now don't get me wrong I'm happy I did.

But at the same time it made the bond we have get tight again. Like it was only 2.5 days instead of years. Then when I get back to where I stay (refuse to call this home) we talk more than before.
I mean yea we got them times when we don't get to talk but then there are days when it seem like we never hang up the phone.

One night we were on the phone and what do you know, the subjects of relationships...kids...future...us comes up. And long story short ya girl not single anymore...that's right I'm officially of the market after me and him been doing this little dance for about 4, yes I said FOUR, years. In the words of my sisters "bout time" but we'll see how this goes.

fingers crossed,
- Mz. N.O.B.

Don't You Hate

Don't you just hate when you have your mind set on something you KNOW you left in the fridge all day and you get there the shit gone. Somebody then ate it or through it out.
Don't you hate when someone telling a joke and before they get they start dying laughing and you NEVER get the joke.
Don't you hate when niggas got the nerve to be MORE sensitive than you in a relationship.
Don't you hate people telling you to be on time for shit, when they the ones always late.
Don't you hate when people steadily ask you what's wrong when nothing is, until they keep asking.
Don't you hate how people who don't go over 25mph have the nerve to get in the fast line. BITCH GET TO THE RIGHT!!
Don't you hate the fact I'm doing this post.
Don't you hate self conscious people. Know I do guess that's why I hate myself.....but that's no relevent.

Okay that's all my don't you hates for now.