Fa true? well that's good to here.
Me? Child I'm breathing so I can't complain to bad. Shit getting hard out here, I'm engaged to someone who I love with my whole heart. However I'm starting to wonder if love is enough now a days. Don't get me wrong he is the same man I first fell in love with back in 2006. The same one who remembers the things I forget. The one I argue with about the fact he has DAUGHTERS not sons so dating, shoes, clothes, make-up and all the other girly shit is something he will have to deal with. He is the same goofy, honest, bad temper, protective, high sex drive man I fall in love with every time I talk to. However I think that is the problem. See I'm not that same female. I mean yes in some ways he has changed for the better, but then he gets liquor in his system and it makes me wonder.
He use to make me feel like I was his best friend and lover. Now I just feel like I'm one of his home boys from back in the day. I know he love me, that's a given I can hear it in his voice whenever he say it.......But why have I been saying it first lately?
Why out of the almost five YEARS we have been kicking it you have never came to visit me?
Why when we were just fwb's (friends with benefits) it was okay for you to get in a relationship but I got a boyfriend it was a fucking problem?
Why you slept next to and fucked that bitch for MONTHS but then still claimed to wanta smash me when I came to town?
Why I have yet to receive my RING but we have been engaged since May 31 and it is September 26?
SN: *shrugs* at least he didn't do it in a text why he was sitting on the same couch as me in the apartment he stays with me RENT FREE but refuse to LEND money to me to buy a fridge, but I digress
Why it took me sitting down and writing this post to see how much we need to wait on this whole marriage thing until I'm sure we are both ready for this?
My love for you is past just a typical man and woman love because of the fact we are truly best friends. At the same time we may just be meant to be friends and not husband and wife.
*deep sigh*
-Mz. N.O.B.
